And a little sidestep

Googlemaps is a website where is, as it’s name implies, is a map of the world, with all the roads indexed, etc. If you wish to calculate how to get from one place to another, it’ll show you the exact room name, estimated time taken, etc, etc. Of course, it screws with you sometimes.

On the other hand, had a friend looking online for a modem to buy. One of them listed the specs,

“Top-mounted standby switch enhances network security”

I feel like such a geek finding these things amusing.

Hesitate no more

Weee….back to back posts.

My life’s so fvcked up right now.

Guilt

I’ve procrastinated this long enough, I guess.

I’ve done a ridiculously large truckload of dumb things in my life, and the rate at which I’m adding at it is far from stopping. This latest Grande Theft, I guess tops the list as I seriously was nervous throughout the entire thing. I guess that’s what happens when you follow idiots blindly.

Anyway, that little sidestep aside, I’m really getting bored with life, and no, I’m not expressing suicidal tendencies here. It’s just that I was stoning for a bit, and I spent a little time considering and thinking about my future career, or what I wished to do. I’m too used to getting surprised and placed in unfamiliar surroundings, that I’m starting to miss those feelings. Maybe it’s because I constantly like the thrill of something new? I’m not speaking like an Indiana Jone’s style lets-go-find-a-new-2000-year-old-cave-to-explore thrill, but more of a “Hey, I didn’t expect that in this line of work” challenge here and there. I like to do something that maybe takes some creativity, has that “wow” factor, and the element of surprise here and there. This may be a tall order, but seeing that I’m already literally dragging myself through school reluctantly, I probably would suffer in a 9 to 5 job too.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been stuck on the backseat of schoolwork and etc recently. I still can’t pull myself out of this slump to kick start my engine or something. I need something minty, something fresh to inject into myself from this lethargic mood. I guess I’m a person excited by new and shiny things, and need that as a positive distraction once in a while.

On the other hand, all this thinking about my future, and etc is literally putting me in a slumber for now. It has always been a long habit of mine to think ahead. Ridiculously ahead, that I lose any myopic foresight for the things that I should be doing. Instead of thinking so much, I should be mugging my balls off, or something. Something sparked off this recent period where I just spent far too much time contemplating of my future, and I really need to get back to the present and focus on what I should be doing – being a student. But more than likely, I’ll probably need something to spark myself in that direction.

I’m not interested in screwing up this year, just yet. I may be way arrear right now, but bigger miracles have occurred before, and I can afford to aspire later. I don’t make my own chances, I have to take them.

Especially my chances with-

Jaded

As the title suggested, I’m getting sick with everything right now.

Jaded with life’s work. Screw off promos, go die in a chemical fire.

Jaded with speech.  It’s not hard to see that I’m getting more and more uncomfortable with my current environment, the people I work with, the place I work in.

Jaded by my environment. I hate here already, I thought I would be able to transition and adapt straight into here. I guess as usual, I was too assumptive and too hasty. I still spend more time reminiscing than even trying to do anything here. I guess I still wasn’t ready for integration, to some extent.

Jaded by my habits. I still harp and brood too much over minor fusses, I still whine at nonexistent needs, I still hesitate and rue so many chances, I still like to idle too much.

I guess I should perk up somewhat. Meeting a few mates before speech day tomorrow. Somehow, I can still always find some cheer in them.

Queer, don’t you find it? I turn 180, only to find myself walking in a complete circle right back. So, why do I envy something I myself am guilty of?

Stuck

Urgh. The days left to promos sign in the middle of the canteen isn’t improving anyone’s mood. I know I’m still goofing around, but my brain refuses to get down to anything, bleh. Speech day’s on Friday, probably another opportunity to see some guys from the past, hear a horse-face give a speech, amongst other things. Until now, I’m still really not comfortable with my current class/school/etc. Guess I’m seriously too used and was too immersed in an all boys culture. :V

Really isn’t much for me to say here. Life is now trying to work, failing to do so, goofing around, making a silent promise, procrastinating, and the entire cycle continues. At this rate, it’ll be a wonder if I can qualify for that H3 that I really want. Now I’m undecided between things that I want to do, and things that I need to do. It would have been so helpful if they were both the same thing. OCIP sounds like something good for me, but I’m scared that by the time it rolls around, I’ll be probably lose all my enthusiasm for it already.

On another note, I feel myself falling back into the habit of thinking too much, and being too assumptive in trying to read other people’s minds again. Guess in a way I’m sensitive about such things around me.

Look at me, I’m blood rambling again. Time to attempt to hit the papers(most probably gonna end up hitting the sack again). At least I have training to look forward to. VjFb Ftw. Time to buck up for next year.

Were you? I was
Are you? I am
Will you? I…will