Ahhhhhh

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*inhale*
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*inhale*
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I should have bloody hell taken physics.

My brain is not a memory bank. If it were, I would be on youtube being one of those guys who can memorise the exact position of a deck of cards in a few minutes earning money by being a such a geek.  Two more papers One more paper to go, who gives a flap about chinese. >:( Not that I’ve been really studious of late. I only revised maths for like an hour or so. I think the time I spent on the bus rides to and fro school studying is easily more than the total time I spent at home. Guess I still can’t ever study in front of this screen.

Anyway, the 1.5 week promos don’t sound that bad compared to that’s going to happen in a few days. PW, OP, hospital things(again, again, who gives a flap about chinese A’s!) and all I want is to just relax and play some sports. Going to look forward to holiday training, even if it means I’m most likely going to just die. Well, good luck to me for bio tomorrow, it’s like walking into an ocean for me, watch me flounder and drown.

And then, after that, going find myself doing nothing but staring at the same 4 faces for the next few weeks.

Au revoir, for nothing nor no one, can outlast eternity

Procrastinator

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Two posts ago, I was saying that I would try to crap something out regularly, possibly daily. See how far I’ve come now. Then again, I put some of the blame on the impending promos.

It was funny, when during last Wednesday night, I was randomly chatting to someone, and they were like “Crap, GP tomorrow”, I immediately panicked for my timetable, because I thought the paper was on Friday and was seriously prepared to miss school(supposed study break). Ha, talk about an early scare. Minutes later, I was returning to my bo-chup attitude already.

For many people around me, sirens are flashing and everything as they cram for it. A few people I know are going “hala, promote can liao”, which is an attitude I’m probably adopting right now. Can’t really say that I’ve been studious for the year. Not even the month. Maybe last week? Surely the last two days, ok, only yesterday. Seems that I still don’t give a flying truck about the promos yet.

And there I was, dreaming of maybe doing decently, and grabbing a H3. Now I’m rethinking that. Would I really be able to cope with it? Partially because I’ve seriously been slothing this year, but I’ve been questioning. The only applicable H3 for me would be Lit, which I don’t really have confidence in since the year began. If I were to somehow, by some miracle be able to qualify for it, there comes the problem that I would have -2- independant studies to work on. I don’t think I would be able to switch my mentality that fast to do double the work next year. Still, the thought lingers in my mind. I fancy it, but whether I can perform, is completely another story.

So, for the people who are still anxiously knee deep in notes(vj has more of those than I expcted), have a merry promo.

Acting. Dreaming. Trying. Stopping. Deleting. Forgetting. Losing. Again.

Mellow

Memories simply mellow with time, don’t you agree?

Protected: Sorry for everything, ‘eight’

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Drifting

Hrm…this blog needs more pictures.

Whoa, didn’t realised when was the last time I had a serious post in here. Talk about having another hiatus. Well, it’s the holidays now, and it’s supposed to be time for me to catch up(which I ridiculously need right now), but I’m not going anywhere – still faffing about on the internet here. I find myself kinda drifting into the state of mentality I had not too long ago, where I just did not know what I wanted. In a sentence, I’m not contented with life.

I’ve already put this post off long enough with procrastination(as well as my studying!), and I wish to go on a blogging spree about recent events, but that can wait.(I’m looking at teachers day, and the last two days where for some reason, I broke a personal record. More on this later). A large size of random thoughts pervaded my brain, and I’m impatient to spill them out. Still, I’m trying to stick to a one post a day rule.

I’m at a point where I want to actively liven my life up, yet I still have to stick to what I’m supposed to be doing. School will always be an all-powerful entity which I can’t rid myself of.  Right now, as always, my priorities are confused. I just miss that lifestyle where all you need to do is work in a straight line, run in a straight line, wouldn’t life be so much simpler?

I guess the only reason I’m in this kinda mood is because of attention. I am jealous of attention, I don’t deny it, but the difference is, I don’t rage to attract it, nor do I pull back, I just stone. There’s a barrier right there between what I want to be, and what I am. It’s not the first time I’ve tried crossing it, and failed, it probably won’t be my last. I’ll never be that kind of person without subjecting the people around me to hurt.

I think too much.

Last thing I thought expected be troubled by, I guess proximity plays it’s part.
It’s not because of you, but it’s because of you.
How apt was the reading today, yet how foolish it was.
How much it was meant to be true, how much it was meant to be impossible.
All I give is a silent scream, unnoticed, unheeded, yet omnipresent.
Dare I take action? I would have. Now I don’t
Am I simply going to wait it out? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
All I need is that acknowledgment of indifference.